1.
I was supposed to run a Double Marathon this past weekend and all I could muster for an effort was Fuck That! Its just been one of those weeks. You know the ones that seem very overwhelming and daunting for no real reason except all the ones you make up in your head. So I skipped the race and stayed close to home this weekend.
Lets rewind and recap a bit. A little background for all of ya that don't know me. HI. I'm Ryan, a hack of an endurance athlete that has some stories to tell. Some might be funny and some might be utterly depressing, but that how life goes. I'm gonna be 37 in a few weeks, woo. Married to an amazing lady that puts up with my endless mood swings and all the dream chasing. We have three kids that I would call amazing as a descriptor but lets be honest, amazing is a stretch at most. Just like life, they have their ups and downs, But I wouldn't have it any other way. We recently just relocated to Austin, Texas, because why not. Oh and I Dye yarn for a living, but we can get deeper into all of that some other time.
So back to the week at hand. Last Sunday I raced The 3M Half Marathon in Austin and redlined it the entire time. The race was advertised as all down and a PR course. It was pretty much flat with quite a few turns. I got up way to early and got to the race about an hour early so I could make sure I got decent parking and time to get in the mood to actually race. This is going to be a common theme with these stories. It was a pretty chilly morning for Texas, 32 at the start. We take of at 7:30am and I immediately ask myself if this Is actually want to be doing and think about dropping in the first few miles. I quickly shake the feeling and start settling in to a good pace and just let the miles tick by. An hour and fifty three minutes later I dragged my tired ass across the line happy that I came in under my goal I set the week earlier when I wrote my training for the week. Happy, tired, and sore I get back on the buses waiting to bring us back to our cars and call it a day and head home.
A lot goes through ones head while running, at least for me it does. My thoughts wander a lot. sometimes its in the present, sometimes the future, and often times the past. I have a really hard forgetting things. Its a blessing and a curse. Conversations from twenty years ago still echo in my head and the more time I spend in my own head the louder they get. Often times it gives me time to make sense of them all and resolve them in my head as to why they happened and what the outcome of them are. Past relationships replay like bad reruns, arguments, broken promises, and just shit moments in life. I know a lot of people are in the same boat as me and use exercise for the same reason or an escape from the rigors of life. Its like therapy that I don't have to pay for or actually talk to someone to resolve issues, although that wouldn't be a bad thing for some of what bounces around up there. Most days its hard to get out of my own head enough to even get out the door to actually run or ride. lately its been a lot of thoughts about my family. Not my wife and kids, but my mom and my brother.
Family is a tough and fickle thing. I am envious of those people that have a family they can fall back on or rely on for anything. I have never had that and never will. But that is a story for another time.
Next week brings another week of training, another week of endless kick turns in a pool, running the same streets day in and day out, and sitting on a bike seat often times longer then I would like. But this is all something that I choose to do. This is my escape from the world. The focus changes throughout the year as the season progresses but the WHY always stays the same, movement and freedom. Because there is a certain freedom that comes with a clear mind that is like nothing else.
If you have made it this far and doesn't think this reads as complete gibberish then, thank you. I can't promise that this is going to be entertaining to all of you that read this but it will be to some and that is all that matters. It is always going to be a mix race reports, Inner dialogue, and a whole lot of raw story telling.
_ryan
Lets rewind and recap a bit. A little background for all of ya that don't know me. HI. I'm Ryan, a hack of an endurance athlete that has some stories to tell. Some might be funny and some might be utterly depressing, but that how life goes. I'm gonna be 37 in a few weeks, woo. Married to an amazing lady that puts up with my endless mood swings and all the dream chasing. We have three kids that I would call amazing as a descriptor but lets be honest, amazing is a stretch at most. Just like life, they have their ups and downs, But I wouldn't have it any other way. We recently just relocated to Austin, Texas, because why not. Oh and I Dye yarn for a living, but we can get deeper into all of that some other time.
So back to the week at hand. Last Sunday I raced The 3M Half Marathon in Austin and redlined it the entire time. The race was advertised as all down and a PR course. It was pretty much flat with quite a few turns. I got up way to early and got to the race about an hour early so I could make sure I got decent parking and time to get in the mood to actually race. This is going to be a common theme with these stories. It was a pretty chilly morning for Texas, 32 at the start. We take of at 7:30am and I immediately ask myself if this Is actually want to be doing and think about dropping in the first few miles. I quickly shake the feeling and start settling in to a good pace and just let the miles tick by. An hour and fifty three minutes later I dragged my tired ass across the line happy that I came in under my goal I set the week earlier when I wrote my training for the week. Happy, tired, and sore I get back on the buses waiting to bring us back to our cars and call it a day and head home.
A lot goes through ones head while running, at least for me it does. My thoughts wander a lot. sometimes its in the present, sometimes the future, and often times the past. I have a really hard forgetting things. Its a blessing and a curse. Conversations from twenty years ago still echo in my head and the more time I spend in my own head the louder they get. Often times it gives me time to make sense of them all and resolve them in my head as to why they happened and what the outcome of them are. Past relationships replay like bad reruns, arguments, broken promises, and just shit moments in life. I know a lot of people are in the same boat as me and use exercise for the same reason or an escape from the rigors of life. Its like therapy that I don't have to pay for or actually talk to someone to resolve issues, although that wouldn't be a bad thing for some of what bounces around up there. Most days its hard to get out of my own head enough to even get out the door to actually run or ride. lately its been a lot of thoughts about my family. Not my wife and kids, but my mom and my brother.
Family is a tough and fickle thing. I am envious of those people that have a family they can fall back on or rely on for anything. I have never had that and never will. But that is a story for another time.
Next week brings another week of training, another week of endless kick turns in a pool, running the same streets day in and day out, and sitting on a bike seat often times longer then I would like. But this is all something that I choose to do. This is my escape from the world. The focus changes throughout the year as the season progresses but the WHY always stays the same, movement and freedom. Because there is a certain freedom that comes with a clear mind that is like nothing else.
If you have made it this far and doesn't think this reads as complete gibberish then, thank you. I can't promise that this is going to be entertaining to all of you that read this but it will be to some and that is all that matters. It is always going to be a mix race reports, Inner dialogue, and a whole lot of raw story telling.
_ryan
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